“Enlightenment is the last great disappointment of humanity”

That which you think is “the thing”, is not the thing.

Let me explain:
Do you ever fixate on something so much that your field of vision narrows to a point?

You think:

“if I could just find the perfect job,
if I had the ideal body weight,
if I could just find the perfect guy/girl,
If I just had this much more money,
if I could get my parent/child/roommate/etc to be a certain way,
if I could get validation from that specific person or group of people,

if I could finally lay claim to that which is the ultimate goal of human life…

my sense that ~ something ~ is missing
would finally
disappear
and I would finally be well.”

But as it turns out, the thing that you *think* is the thing is never the thing, is it?

*The thing* is much deeper, and more amorphous, existing beyond the constraints of time, space or discrete word or thought form.

〰️ but what *is* the *thing*!? 〰️

I’ve been in the presence of and studied with many profound and exotic beings, and even some who were not-really-human beings, and they all agree that not even enlightenment was *the thing* - one went so far as to say that “enlightenment is the last great disappointment of humanity”.

well, that was puzzling to hear to say the least.

what I *do* know is that - whether I get all the things or I don’t, there is a fundamental lack of ease in my being that only goes away when I strip away thought and fixations, and absorb myself into stillness, movement, attention, this moment, and breath.

✨ ⚡️ 🌞 🌛 ⚡️ ✨

A couple of nights ago I had to hold several of my standing postures (asanas) for over 4 minutes each- to finally get my mind and nervous system to stop spinning. I know it was that long because I had to stop fighting with myself and stay put for one entire song at a time as the music played in the background.

It was long and stubborn, and it was divine. There is indeed joy to be found in friction.

It worked. I softened. I surrendered. I experienced beautiful and subtle experiences of body, prana, connection, and heart.

My determination and requests for release were rewarded by being allowed to have a few moments of whole body peace, presence, and renewed depths of breath and fulfillment flowing fully through my scanlines, ribs, lungs, torso, pubic bone, tailbone, thigh bones, and all the way into my feet and toes.

It was new and yet not new... and I felt a purity of bliss in embodiment that can only come from that realm beyond the definable world, where things that maybe are *THE things* live.

It was beautiful,
and it was also temporary.

Because after the mat was rolled and the props were put away, there I was again: Little o’ll me, in this very human and bound body, mind, nervous system and heart. With all my quirks, peculiarities, faults, eccentricities, wounds, reactivities, proclivities, preferences, blindnesses, distastes, errors and aversions.

What am I trying to say?

I guess I’m trying to encourage you to remember that the thing that you think is *the thing* is not *the thing*

And that our soul actually loves a little movement, a little breath, a little art, a little quiet, a little nature, a little contact improv with your favorite people, a little self-massage ~ while yoga practice can be a very powerful vehicle for those who resonate with it.

Whatever YOUR favorite soul communing modality is - might help, if at least for a moment, to have some ease from the ever present, never fully disappearing, discomfort of existentiallity.

Maybe peace is only to be found in the razor’s edge of the ever-flowing dance of consciousness, stillness, presence, and intentional participation in the moment at hand.

🌷 ❤️ 🌷 ❤️ 🌷 ❤️ 🌷

But wait, what about all the other things!?

Well they are totally fantastic, aren’t they!?

When we don’t try to force them to be *the thing*, they are truly SO great.

They are the texture and drama, the joie the vivre. Especially goodies like chocolate, connection, great conversations, a solid workout, a rewarding personal achievement, great sex, laughter, electrified soulful eye contact, swimming in the ocean, the lusciousness of a wild and unpredictable jungle, fine textures and textiles, exquisitely refined essential oils… or the familiar scent and sight of someone you absolutely love...

And activities too can be such magnificent things of nourishment; the earthen ritual of preparing a meal, arranging flowers, altar tending, opening windows, packing for a road trip, spending time with a parent or child…. and so on.

Oh the mystery, pause, tension, release and intrigue of existence... !

Oh the gut-wrenching loss, trauma, sadness and rage that add such unwelcomed savory contrast to our lives, bringing sobriety, severity, and deeper wisdom to our step in this world… that we may not fall asleep... that we may remember our days are numbered, and they matter... that your life is your greatest creative undertaking... that your heartbeat is a gift that was not given to someone else... it was given to YOU!... to do with, as YOU found fit:

thump thump, thump thump, thump thump

When you don’t try to make things be *the thing*,
they truly can be a thing of wonder.

💋 🍫 🌸